Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Miscarriage

i'm doing this series for personal reasons. i'm always inspired by my past, so i thought why not bring that into my art? i've been in an artist block for a while now - i blame it on the stress with the new home, bills, no job. i'm positive my life will get better, but i believe sometimes you have to take a step back to move forward. i've had this idea in my mind for a while, especially this one (not like i could get it out of my head; this memory haunts me everyday). it's more like something you could get over, but it sticks around for the rest of your life. this particular memory, though, occurred when i was only fourteen. the process was involuntary, but it knocked me up. and despite it's something i don't like to duel upon often, i was happy. i thought, 'here i have a living mini-me growing in my belly.. and it's going to be a daily part of my life.' i was so excited even though i hated its' father. unfortunately, i lost it in an aggressive fight with that former love and he ended up kicking me down my own stairs that summer of '06. i never felt pain like the one i felt that day. so i tried to portray it in this photo. it means a lot to me, this bit of my history, but not in a morbid way. that day was the turning point in my life. as i sat there and looked at the little guy on the bottom of my toilet, i couldn't help but feel peace. for both of us. my life has never been the same since. whatever feelings this stirs within you, i hope you meditate and learn from it. thank you.